The engagement.

Ruth and Golda were walking along Hendon High Street.

Ruth says, "My son Irving is getting married. He tells me he is engaged to a wonderful girl, but... he thinks she may have a disease called herpes.

Golda says, "Do you have any idea what this herpes is, and can he catch it?"

Ruth replies, "No, but I am just so thrilled to hear about Irving's engagement - it's time he settled down. As far as the herpes goes...who knows?"

"Well," says Golda, "I have a very good medical dictionary at home. I'll look it up and call you."
So Golda goes home, looks it up, and calls Ruth. "Ruth, I found it. Not to worry. It says herpes is a disease of the gentiles."

The dog

Rivkah, a little old lady get on an El Al flight to Israel. She's carrying a bag, a purse and a little dog in a box. She sits down and puts the box on the seat next to her.

A stewardess approaches Rivkah and says, "I'm sorry Madam, but you can't keep the dog here. I'll have to take it and put it in baggage."

Rivkah agrees. What else can she do?

During the flight, the stewardess looks in on the little dog, and Oy Gevult, the dog is dead. She informs the pilot who notifies Tel Aviv airport who tells the director who decides that they will get an other dog to replace this one. The little old lady will never know.

When the plane lands and Rivkah goes to the baggage hall to claim her box, they bring her a box with a new dog, an exact replica of her old dog. "This is not my dog", Rivkah exclaims.

"Why yes it is," the captain tells her. "See, it has the same markings."

"This is not my dog", Rivkah insists.

"How do you know this isn't your dog?" asks the captain.

"My dog is dead!"